Don’t Walk Away

“Don’t walk away, I still need you.” I breathed.

“Why do you need me? You seem like you have it handled. I have put up through so much with you and you act like there’s nothing wrong. Sorry, Alan. But I’m not going down with the ship.” She took the suitcase she packed and walked out our front door. I followed, because there’s too much I need to tell her, so much that needs to be explained.

“Angela, I’m sorry, okay? I was drunk, I didn’t mean it-“I started.

“No, Alan, you did. You wouldn’t have even considered it no matter how inebriated you were if you really loved me. You’ve become a mess lately, Alan. You pay no attention to me or your own home for that matter. And let’s not even talk about yourself.” She opened her car door and opened it, shoving her suitcase into the backseat. “I hope you make it, I really do, but I can’t live like this anymore.” She got into her car and shut the door.

I knelt down and placed my hand one the glass half showing on her car door “Angela, don’t do this. I’ll get better, I promise. I’m sorry.”

“Sometimes,” She started the engine. “sorry doesn’t cut it.” She pulled out of the driveway, and pulled away from me. I threw my fist into the ground, because before tonight I actually felt like we were getting back to the way we used to be.

“Angela.” I whispered, over and over. Looking back, I knew I should’ve chased her, but at the moment the only thing I wanted to do was cry, or die. I’m not certain which.

“What’s wrong with me!?” I shouted, and curled on the ground, just crying. I never knew how much a man could cry until that night. I really loved her, you know? I just kept thinking of everything that we had together, so that probably sparked up the tears. Eventually, Joe came over from across the street, when he came home and noticed me on my lawn.

“Dude, what happened?” he asked.

“Angela’s gone.” I had prepared what to say beforehand, and yet I still managed to choke on the words.

“Come on,” He lifted me up, and we walked into the house. He sat me on my couch. “I’ll be back in a little bit so you can tell me all about it. Don’t drink everything before I get here.” He closed the door behind him.

I wanted her back, but with the way she is, I know I will never again hold her in my arms.  I turned on the television and awaited his return. I found it in me to vow to myself to never drink again. I wouldn’t lose anyone else over my negligence.

(I wrote this from “Don’t Walk Away” by Sick Puppies, for those wondering)

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